So far, all I’ve gotten from this experiment is that not grooming one’s appearance leads to massive self-consciousness. I don’t feel more liberated, free from cosmetics and vanity, I feel like I’ve just lost a control over my appearance rather than gained it. I know a person shouldn’t feel like appearances are everything and of course I don’t think that in the slightest, but I still miss the reassurance of going out knowing how others will see me. I think avoiding all reflective surfaces is taking its toll too – there’s so many. Too many. I find myself avoiding looking up in bathrooms and not lingering too long near windows. It’s a tad OTT and I’m currently feeling like a complete idiot for attempting to do such.
I’m not giving up (three days in, I should hope to last a little longer than that!) but I just wanted to add this update to the bundle.
I’m off to a concert tonight – something to look forward to, but definitely something previous me would be dolling herself up for. It’s all about the confidence though… right?